By The Way Betch...: I've just seen a face, I can't forget the time or place where we just met

Two people meet. They share an intense, inexplicable but undeniable chemistry. They explore the cosmic bond for as long as reason will allow, then they part ways. They're young, they figure. There will be more intense, inexplicable but undeniable chemistry. It's okay to let it go. Right?

I guess that depends on how much you value happiness.

I had that kind of instant bond once. It was pure magic, every second we spent together was paramount. As a mega-b*tch, I'd never experienced such pure joy from the company of another before then -- and nothing since has come close.

So who is this amazing "one who got away"?

My puppy Lucy. She was a 6-week old baby Basset Hound when my dad and kid sister and I wandered into the pet store. We saw her through the window and her soft brown eyes spoke to my soul. We asked to see her in the pen, something we had never done before in my entire life. As soon as they put her in my arms, it was all over. I had to have her. She belonged to me already, we were inextricably linked by some cosmic force -- to leave her behind would have been to leave a piece of myself behind. Ly knew it. Dad knew it. The only person who didn't know it was mom, but that's just because she hadn't joined us in our aimless rambling through the mall. We didn't bother to call home and warn -- instead, I carried my baby out of the store and into our home, placing her on the bed where my mom was napping.

Mom, wake up! Look who's here!
... Is that a rabbit?

She was so sweet, my little Lucy. Her ears were so awkward and long and her little legs were so short and stubby that when she was little, she would trip on them when she walked. They fell into the water bowl as she drank, and afterwards you could follow her path through the house because there were two parallel watermarks. Climbing the stairs was the cutest -- she'd trip and fall on those Dumbo ears all the way upstairs. I wanted to call her Margo or Sadie, but we chose Ly's name, Lucy, because of her ridiculous loose skin, to represent both the sweet and the misbehaved sides of her (Lucifer? no?), and because of the diamond-shaped freckle in her eye. Lucy in the sky with diamonds.

Oh, what a baby. I was about to start college, but my parents said they'd keep her until I graduated, when I could have her to myself, wherever I ended up.

Three days before the end of my freshman year of college I was laid up in my room with mono. I tried to study, but there was no point -- I was on the brink of death (curse you, Anonymous!). My phone rang. My parents and my younger sister were on the line. Something was wrong. Lucy had been hit by a neighbor's car, and killed instantly. She didn't feel any pain. There was nothing they could do. She was gone.

There are no words for the sorrow that caused me. Nothing has ever hit me that hard. Devastated, I took the car my sister and I shared and drove the 8 hours home. When I got to my house it was past midnight, but I couldn't muster the strength to go inside for at least an hour. I collapsed, sobbing, on my driveway. My baby wasn't there to jump up against the door to greet me; I couldn't kiss her ears; she couldn't run into my lap. She was gone.

Fast-forward 5 years.

For no apparent reason, I open CraigsList. For the first time, I see a "Pets" link. I click; I peruse. I pass over puppy after puppy. Cute, I think. It's what I always think when I see a dog. I love dogs.

But then...

And there he is. Crash. A 4-month-old Beagle/Basset mix. He has Lucy's face. He has all of her coloring, actually. He's like a taller, sensible-eared version of my baby. And I love him. His eyes speak to me the same way hers did. Bubby is burned in my brain and I can't forget him.

Erol punched me in the face when I showed him.

Go f*ck yourself, Kate. Everyone knows my rugs are worth more than your happiness. Now, please excuse me while I trip old women and steal candy from small children.

Heartless b*stard.

Sure, maybe sometimes I forget to feed myself. And sometimes I go out and don't come home. And yeah, I leave for work in the morning and don't get back to the apartment 'til like 8 or 9 at night 5 days a week. I may or may not be the world's worst potential pet owner.

But I've just seen a face I can't forget. This is my second great love and I just can't have him.

So, to sum up 2008 thus far:

I was forced to flee from what became a terrifying housing situation -- that one came with a 50% rent increase (oof);
I was dumped unceremoniously by the most skilled mind-f*cker who ever lived;
I have been victimized all over my hood by pretend muggings, verbal assault of a sexual nature and Beverly Hills Chihuaha previews;
I fainted 3 times in a bar;
I was labeled a spinster by my peers; and
the Universe dangled the dog of my dreams in front of me years before I've achieved the emotional maturity or responsibility to get it.

On the bright side, I learned how to grill fish and I discovered the glory that is Chaka at Boundless Yoga.

Anyway, Crash needs somebody to love so I'm giving him what publicity I can:

Learn more about Crash here!

Crash is a great puppy looking for a new home. Friendly and playful towards, people, kids and other dogs, Crash is a medium energy, calm guy. He loves long walks, a good car ride and cuddle time with his people! Sound like a fit for your home?
Breed Estimate: Beagle hound mix
Gender: male
Approximate weight: 26 pounds
Approximate age: 16 weeks
Location: Williamsburg
Cratetrained: yes
Coat Type: short
Personality: calm and easy going, medium energy